Why babies are creepy

This week, once again, has made it awfully clear that I really don’t like kids. My sister-in-law called with the news that she’s pregnant. I already knew this, as it was showing in her whole body a couple of weeks ago. But now she wanted to share the big news with her brother and sis-in-law. Too bad I’m not really happy about it. I am happy for her, just not for me.

I’ve said this before, I don’t like kids. They’re very annoying and scare the crap out of me. I’ll show you why.


This is how I see babies. They’ve got huge heads, big bulging eyes and I have no idea if they come in peace or not. Most likely not, according to my ears. They scream, cry, yell, whine, whimper and howl. They stink, smell and reek.

You are familiar with Pavlov, right? If not, open the link and then come back. I’ll wait for you.
From day one we condition babies by giving them attention as soon as they start crying. The kid will learn that crying is a good thing. Crying gets rewarded with attention, a bottle or a clean diaper. Then, when the kid is about two years old, two years worth of conditioning, we say to them “oh, by the way, crying (which gave you all the attention before) is a bad thing. We don’t want crying, from now on we want you to talk.” Confusing much?

In my opinion, kids shouldn’t be seen or heard until they are at least ten years old. By that time they’ve probably learned that they shouldn’t talk unless someone talks to them. If they haven’t, this should be a good way of keeping them quiet.

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbaltimore/243992346/
photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/carolyntiry/3992988737/

You might also like this post.

10 comments

  1. I’m not sure you should be giving advice on something you know nothing about…

    • Frouk says:

      I’m not sure why you think I’m giving advice. I’m simply stating what I think. If I would advice anything about this topic it would be to stay as far from kids as humanly possible!
      But I’m not, since I’m not giving advice.

  2. I’m not sure you should be giving advice on something you know nothing about…

    • Frouk says:

      I’m not sure why you think I’m giving advice. I’m simply stating what I think. If I would advice anything about this topic it would be to stay as far from kids as humanly possible!
      But I’m not, since I’m not giving advice.

  3. Well, let me just say that, when you state your opinion the way you did, it sounds as though you are saying you are right and everybody else (in this case, those with kids) is wrong–they just need to come to your way of thinking. But if everyone thought like you did, then you wouldn’t be here.

    • Frouk says:

      I’m sorry if it sounded like that. That is not what I meant. It’s just how I see it. And the kids aren’t wrong. Parents give out so many conflicting messages to kids. No wonder they are unruly so much of the time.

  4. Well, let me just say that, when you state your opinion the way you did, it sounds as though you are saying you are right and everybody else (in this case, those with kids) is wrong–they just need to come to your way of thinking. But if everyone thought like you did, then you wouldn’t be here.

    • Frouk says:

      I’m sorry if it sounded like that. That is not what I meant. It’s just how I see it. And the kids aren’t wrong. Parents give out so many conflicting messages to kids. No wonder they are unruly so much of the time.

  5. Jan says:

    I agree. I also think babies are creepy. I like older kids though. Great for those people that adore babies. I think people are overreacting to your post but then they are parents and are prone to protect their offspring from a perceived threat. It’s okay to not be a baby-lover. Just be aware that people who love babies will never understand it. However, you are not alone. Most people who are creeped out by babies won’t admit it for fear of censure.

    • frouk says:

      Thank you Jan, I know people think I’m weird, but I don’t care. Since writing this post I’ve had lots of people tell me they think the same. And you are one of them! So thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *