This week, once again, has made it awfully clear that I really don’t like kids. My sister-in-law called with the news that she’s pregnant. I already knew this, as it was showing in her whole body a couple of weeks ago. But now she wanted to share the big news with her brother and sis-in-law. Too bad I’m not really happy about it. I am happy for her, just not for me.
So my sister in law announced this week that she's pregnant. I'm currently trying to figure out a way to avoid her for the next 20 years…
— Froukje Muller (@angelfrouk) December 1, 2012
I’ve said this before, I don’t like kids. They’re very annoying and scare the crap out of me. I’ll show you why.
This is how I see babies. They’ve got huge heads, big bulging eyes and I have no idea if they come in peace or not. Most likely not, according to my ears. They scream, cry, yell, whine, whimper and howl. They stink, smell and reek.
You are familiar with Pavlov, right? If not, open the link and then come back. I’ll wait for you.
From day one we condition babies by giving them attention as soon as they start crying. The kid will learn that crying is a good thing. Crying gets rewarded with attention, a bottle or a clean diaper. Then, when the kid is about two years old, two years worth of conditioning, we say to them “oh, by the way, crying (which gave you all the attention before) is a bad thing. We don’t want crying, from now on we want you to talk.” Confusing much?
In my opinion, kids shouldn’t be seen or heard until they are at least ten years old. By that time they’ve probably learned that they shouldn’t talk unless someone talks to them. If they haven’t, this should be a good way of keeping them quiet.
photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbaltimore/243992346/
photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/carolyntiry/3992988737/
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