Narrowly avoiding disaster

Todays prompt asks:

Share a time when you narrowly avoided disaster.

Have you ever been on the road? There nutfucks all over the place. Really, it’s dangerous out there.

First there’s moms. They are dangerous I tell you. They’re either looking at their kids or at their phone. I’ve seen them park strollers on the street without even looking around to see if there’s traffic coming. I’ve even cycled over a stroller, knocking the kid out cold. Why? Not because I wanted to, but because the bloody idiot mom turned the stroller onto the road within inches of my wheel. I had no time to stop. I’ve had moms yelling at their kids in the car whilst driving. swerving all over the road, almost knocking me over in the process. I’ve even rescued a kid from cycling right in the path of a lorry. Kid couldn’t help it. His mom cycled a few meters in front of him. She crossed the road right in front of the truck, kid just tried to follow his mom. I literally grabbed him off his bike. I yelled at the mom, she didn’t understand. I told her: “If you don’t want kids, you should’ve used protection, you bloody idiot.”

Than we have professional drivers. I’ve seen so many professional drivers more involved in their phone, GPS, newspaper or even making food than the traffic they’re driving in. They swerve from left to right without ever paying attention. The times that I’ve managed to escape an accident waiting to happen are countless.

Further onto youngsters driving cars. Seriously, they don’t see the dangers of their driving. Fast cars, no seatbelts, way too many friends piled up inside. And now we are letting 17 year olds onto the roads. Why? If an 18-year-old isn’t listening to all the advice he’s gotten in his driving lessons, why would a 17 year listen? They think they’re alone on the roads, making it dangerous for everyone. I’m known for having a heavy right foot, but the times I’ve been taken over by youngsters whilst it snowed or rained very heavily are, again, uncountable.

Than there’s male drivers. Yes, many of them are driving perfectly fine, but some of them have “small penis syndrome“. As I said, I’m known for having a heavy right foot. But when males are taken over by females, especially in a Ford Ka (and other small cars), they get aggressive. They are taking over the female driver again, even breaking right in front of their car. Just because they’re annoyed. Usually I take over again and immediately in front of them turn on and off my foglights. I would never break in front of anybody on a motorway and the foglights are often mistaken for breaklights. It throws them off their game more often than not.

What to think of female drivers? Seriously, “Oh God, the maximum speed is 130KM/H, so let’s not go over 90…” Most fun is to watch female drivers park their car. They can’t park, almost none of them can. I know someone who s hilariously bad at parking. When she thinks the gap is too small (usually her car could fit in their at least twice) she honks til her husband comes out the door. He takes over and parks the car for her. I can’t stop laughing every time I see it.

Lastly there’s older people driving. I drive by a hospital on my way to work almost every day. And some older people are driving really dangerous. I’ve seen people driving the wrong way on roundabouts. I’ve seen people driving up the bike lane, Not looking out for other cars or pedestrians. I’ve seen someone hit the side of a bus because he couldn’t find the breaks on the car. The times I’ve called the police with license plate numbers can’t be counted on two hands. Not even on 4. I just hope they get off the road before they’re involved in a serious accident…

And here’s a nice clip for you to illustrate what I’ve been saying:

In which category I fall, you ask? I think I’m more of a male driver. If I can take over an expensive car I’ll do it no matter what. Even if it means I have to drive quicker than I should. This doesn’t mean I’m driving too fast in hazardous conditions. I’d never do that.

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